When the Light Fades: My Experience with Seasonal Depression and Finding My Way Back
When Motivation Fades
I’ve always loved the rhythm of the seasons — the slowing down, the cozy rituals, the stillness. But a few winters ago, something shifted. The darker days didn’t feel peaceful anymore; they felt heavy.
I wasn’t suicidal — but I also wasn’t living. I wasn’t motivated to create, to connect, or even to care for myself in the way I usually did. It felt like moving through fog: I could see life happening around me, but I couldn’t quite reach it.
At first, I blamed stress, then hormones, then burnout. But the truth was simpler — and also deeper. My light was dimming, literally and figuratively. I was vitamin D deficient, emotionally drained, and completely out of rhythm.
The Turning Point
Healing didn’t come from a single moment of clarity — it came from small, consistent acts of care.
At one point, I decided to get my own bloodwork done through Ulta Labs, just to see if something deeper was going on. When the results came back, my vitamin D levels were extremely low — and honestly, it was both shocking and validating.
From there, I started daily supplementation, made an effort to get morning sunlight, and began walking outside even on cloudy days. But what really helped wasn’t just physical — it was giving myself permission to slow down and honor what my body was asking for instead of pushing through.
Natural Ways to Support Seasonal Depression
Light & Vitamin D: Nourish the Sun Within
Low sunlight is one of the biggest triggers for seasonal affective disorder (SAD).
Get your vitamin D levels tested — it’s often the missing piece.
Spend at least 15–30 minutes outdoors in the morning light.
Use a sun lamp or light therapy box during darker months.
Take Vitamin D supplements
Laguna Lily Tip: Pair your vitamin D with a small meal containing healthy fats and for better absorption (like avocado or nuts).
For a deeper look at how vitamin D affects mood, you can read my full vitamin D blog, and if you want help choosing the best food sources, I've put together a vitamin D food quality guide you can explore next.
Nutrition for Mood Stability
Your brain thrives on nourishment. During winter, focus on foods that warm, ground, and balance your mood.
Omega-3s (flax, chia, walnuts) support serotonin levels.
Complex carbs (sweet potatoes, quinoa, oats) help with steady energy.
Magnesium-rich foods (leafy greens, pumpkin seeds) calm the nervous system.
Try this ritual: Brew a cup of Laguna Lily Cozy Tea (or your favorite herbal blend with lemon balm, chamomile, or holy basil) and sip slowly before bed.
Movement to Shift Stagnant Energy
When you’re low, movement feels impossible — but even gentle motion can help lift the fog.
Stretch in sunlight, dance in your kitchen, or take a slow walk after breakfast.
Focus on how it feels, not how it looks.
Movement creates momentum. Even a few minutes of intentional movement can shift your mood.
Connection & Purpose
Seasonal depression thrives in isolation. Healing happens in connection.
Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or wellness coach.
Join a local group, community class, or volunteer once a week — something that gets you out of your head and into your heart.
We are wired for belonging. Sometimes the simplest way to rekindle joy is to be seen.
Rest & Rhythm
Your body wants rhythm — not rigid productivity, but flow
Keep consistent sleep and wake times to support hormonal balance.
Honor your slower energy in winter — you’re not lazy; you’re seasonal.
Nature slows down too. So should you.
Returning to the Light
Today, I still have days that feel dim, but I recognize them now. I meet them with compassion, sunlight, and nourishment instead of resistance.
Seasonal depression taught me something sacred: your light is always there — it just needs tending.
If you’re in that space right now, please know this — you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. The sun always returns, and so will your spark.
